How to become a good listener

How to become a good listener

Do you remember at school when your buddy asked you a question as your teacher was about to reveal an important piece of information. Even though you didn’t answer him, you got distracted for a split second and bang it was gone! You missed it all!

Research has found that most of us don’t listen effectively. While someone is talking to us, we’re already formulating an answer in our minds. While that may seem efficient at first, it actually causes a lot of miscommunication – and as a result, wastes time!

We’ve become multi-taskers because we’ve had to become accustomed to handling so much information that comes our way every day. But if you want to avoid miscommunication and making mistakes at work, you have to learn to slow down a little and reteach your brain to listen properly.

6 Steps to listening effectively:

1. Face the person you’re having a conversation with and maintain eye contact for the entire conversation.
2. Be present in the moment. Force yourself not to think of anything else except what’s happening right now.
3. Keep an open mind. Don’t judge the person or what they are saying. Listen carefully before you formulate an opinion.
4. Don’t interrupt or finish sentences for the other person. Nod to show that you’re understanding them. If you don’t understand them, a simple frown will tell them that something’s wrong. Then you can tell them you didn’t understand a specific term or portion of what they said and allow that person to clarify before moving on.
5. Take note of non-verbal cues. For example, is the person jittery or does he have a smirk on his face? These will help you understand what the person is saying and can sometimes even give the person away if they are lying or hiding something from you.
6. When the conversation is over, summarise what they said so that you can clear up any misunderstandings at that point.

Use these steps to teach yourself to become a better listener.

The benefits of listening more and talking less

Instead of always wanting to be doing something or rushing off responses, consciously decide to talk less and listen more. Here’s what you’ll gain from it:

1. Not rushing into a response allows you to listen more carefully AND to think before you reply.
2. You won’t jump to conclusions and make unnecessary mistakes.
3. You will start to automatically filter what you want to listen to and what you don’t have time for, instead of trying to listen to everything badly.
4. You’ll start to get to know others on a more personal level because you’ll be giving them more of your time.
5. Your perception of reality will improve.

There are definite benefits to listening more effectively. Try it for a week and see what difference it makes!